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If You Cannot Say Something Nice, Say Nothing at All
I became so livid while reading this thread that I actually had to get up and walk away from my computer for a few moments. I was so mad that I had tears in my eyes. Believe me, if I'm mad enough to cry, someone better watch out.
Some of the comments I read had my mouth literally hanging open. I couldn't believe that we had such narrow-minded, rude, insensitive jerks on this website. There were comments such as "if I see someone really obese, I'll make a sarcastic comment to them about losing weight", and even "being that overweight is NEVER a disease... they're eating too much junk".
Oy vey.
How is it that in this day and age, there are still people who believe that every "fat" person is that way only because they are lazy and/or eat too much? How is it that they have the brains to build a computer with their eyes closed, but have zero brains when it comes to knowing a single thing about health and humanity?
Guess what? I. AM. FAT.
Guess what else? I'm not lazy, and I don't eat too much. In fact, most of the time I don't eat enough. I have spent the better part of the past 17 years since my car accident attempting to lose the weight that I put on after it. Due to the severe, permanent injuries to my back and neck, I cannot do most "exercises" that normal people can. I also have other medical conditions that caused me to be overweight all my life pretty much. Those conditions, coupled with the injuries to my body, caused me to continue gaining weight for years. I've finally been able to learn to balance things in order to "maintain" myself, and not continue to gain. However, those limitations cause me to not be able to really LOSE any. To do so, I will have to have invasive, dangerous, expensive surgery. That's not something I'm sure I want to do, although I have looked into it.
So why am I even telling you all of this? It's simple, my friends.
I'm sick and tired of people who like to believe that all overweight people are that way b/c they eat too much and are lazy. I'm sick and tired of shallow assholes who feel that it is their right to make me feel even worse about myself by making idiotic comments, instead of keeping their mouths shut.
But do you know what's funny? I have the last laugh. My fiancee happens to think I am beautiful, inside and out. When he looks at me, he doesn't see "fat". He sees a woman whom he loves and desires, one who makes him happy. I have amazing friends, a kick-ass awesome job, and a family I adore. I've won awards from Microsoft, national scholarships from Phi Theta Kappa and writing contests - all within the past few years. I guess that means I have a brain, as well. All in all, I'd have to say I'm damn lucky, and have a pretty good life.
Hmmm. Guess being fat isn't so bad after all, now is it?
Some of the comments I read had my mouth literally hanging open. I couldn't believe that we had such narrow-minded, rude, insensitive jerks on this website. There were comments such as "if I see someone really obese, I'll make a sarcastic comment to them about losing weight", and even "being that overweight is NEVER a disease... they're eating too much junk".
Oy vey.
How is it that in this day and age, there are still people who believe that every "fat" person is that way only because they are lazy and/or eat too much? How is it that they have the brains to build a computer with their eyes closed, but have zero brains when it comes to knowing a single thing about health and humanity?
Guess what? I. AM. FAT.
Guess what else? I'm not lazy, and I don't eat too much. In fact, most of the time I don't eat enough. I have spent the better part of the past 17 years since my car accident attempting to lose the weight that I put on after it. Due to the severe, permanent injuries to my back and neck, I cannot do most "exercises" that normal people can. I also have other medical conditions that caused me to be overweight all my life pretty much. Those conditions, coupled with the injuries to my body, caused me to continue gaining weight for years. I've finally been able to learn to balance things in order to "maintain" myself, and not continue to gain. However, those limitations cause me to not be able to really LOSE any. To do so, I will have to have invasive, dangerous, expensive surgery. That's not something I'm sure I want to do, although I have looked into it.
So why am I even telling you all of this? It's simple, my friends.
I'm sick and tired of people who like to believe that all overweight people are that way b/c they eat too much and are lazy. I'm sick and tired of shallow assholes who feel that it is their right to make me feel even worse about myself by making idiotic comments, instead of keeping their mouths shut.
But do you know what's funny? I have the last laugh. My fiancee happens to think I am beautiful, inside and out. When he looks at me, he doesn't see "fat". He sees a woman whom he loves and desires, one who makes him happy. I have amazing friends, a kick-ass awesome job, and a family I adore. I've won awards from Microsoft, national scholarships from Phi Theta Kappa and writing contests - all within the past few years. I guess that means I have a brain, as well. All in all, I'd have to say I'm damn lucky, and have a pretty good life.
Hmmm. Guess being fat isn't so bad after all, now is it?
Comment
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Comment by Kenny the Metalman on October 3, 2009 at 2:47am -
You know, it is sad how any place online attracts trolls. I came to Geeks expecting better after an acrimonious time using Myspace. What amazes me is you know that most people who say certain things here would never be able to say them in broad daylight. The online world is an excellent mask for the coward.
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Comment by TxNana on October 3, 2009 at 1:47am -
Oh my Kat i love the way you put things in perspective. True friends will be with you no matter what. I'm with you if you can't say something good don't say nothing at all. My mom drilled that into our heads growing up. Kids and some adults just have no respect for themselves or anyone else. Ignore the the idiots and just be happy with who you are. I love ya kiddo just the way you are. (Huggles)
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Comment by ACe on October 1, 2009 at 11:39pm -
doesn't matter what people think or say , whats is important that your happy the way you or. the cyber world is full of idiots and the best way is to ignore them , because they are not worth it.
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Comment by twister7boy on September 30, 2009 at 2:38am -
you just have to show them up. just because they have nothing better to do doesn't mean i do.
how i do it. my trophy 3rd place in my county for weight lifting. my grade average of 3.98 shows it like it is. when people teas me at the gym. i challenge them to a contest. when they see me lifting 245 ponds as a light warm up weight to start off with. they just walk away. a few stayed. next up 465 pounds. its over. if they think im stupid i invite them to my classes in law. while i make a a or a+ on our test and they failed badly. it shows how smart they are. just because somebody is big doesn't mean they are not in shape. and just because one is smarter then the other in only one subject doesn't mean they are stupid. yes i know what i just said. look at the bigger picture while one might be good in book smarts doesn't mean they are street smart. so while people pick on us. in the end they are the ones not looking so smart. And remember just because your smart doesn't mean you cant act stupid. Plus just because you don't always fix your typing or spelling doesn't make you lazy. it might be somebody is just bessy. As you can see from the start of this to the finish of this comment. peace. gregg
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Comment by Streetking on September 29, 2009 at 5:38am -
Kat, you are an amazing woman, i dont think theres one thing about you that is not amazingly special, you are truly one of a kind.
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Comment by Sisbecki on September 29, 2009 at 5:30am -
Kat, I am so happy for you that you are now at a healthy weight. I'm a petite 5'4" and small to med. boned. It wasn't good for me when i used to weigh around 180. My knees ached, my back ached, I couldn't reach my shoes to tie them without such intensive contortions that I'd break a sweat! Worse yet, My blood pressure was borderline high and my triglycerides were over the recommended amount. In my case, the weight gain was brought on by laziness...of a sort. I have S.A.D. : Seasonal Affective Disorder. I get depressed every year from mid-fall through the end of winter. Depression brings on such a lack of hope and energy that I'd be quite inactive, and not care about treating my body right. I'd snack on sweet things throughout the day rather than expend the energy to prepare myself something nutritious. Last year, my doctor finally found me an antidepressant that worked all winter long for me! It was my first winter since I was a pre-teen (I'm 45 now), that i was able to sail through, depression-free. I lost 30 pounds, just by avoiding depression. I too am a size 12 (USA), at least up top. Pants have to be size 10 (USA) or I need to use a belt.
What I'm trying to convey is that many individuals suffer from things they can't control, or aren't yet able to control. Castigating a person when you do not know their particular situation is damaging to both them and yourself. Holding negative emotions poisons your own body and mind. Look at people's hearts, not their packaging.
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Comment by Craig Turner on September 29, 2009 at 12:13am -
I'm what I call 'big boned' (I mean that in a tounge in cheek way). I'm not what I would call massively overweight, but I am overweight, and it's down to my lifestyle and eating habits.
But if anyone says anything to me, like 'hey fatty' or whatever, do you know what?
I honestly don't care. I know it's my fault i'm like this. Getting upset when poeple mention it is stupid, and allowing childish poeple to get to me is pointless. I'd love to slim down a bit (I currently have breathing problems at night due to it), but it's not on my 'must do' list at the moment.
In all honesty, since I gained weight about 2 years ago, no-one has said a thing. My dad says things, but I know he's joking so theres no point in taking it seriously.
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Comment by Tracy on September 28, 2009 at 10:05pm -
I look at obesity as a health issue. The strain on the body is tremendous and being overweight has so many other health issues attached to it. I struggled with obesity for many years before finding the way that best suited me to address it.
I was eating next to nothing- though good foods- and kept gaining weight. I switched to liquid meal replacements, gained more. I finally reached the point where my blood pressure was up & I couldn't find an exercise routine that I could maintain (had terrible joint pain in my hips, ankles, & especially knees). I was beginning to worry about diabetes, as well (runs in the family). As my next set of clothes began to tighten (a size 22 US)- I happened upon the solution that was perfect for me.
I started eating low-carb. For me, it worked right away & I was also no longer hungry. Eating lean meats & veggies, nuts, etc...caused a weight loss of about 40 lbs. within a couple of months. Once that was off, the joint pain lessened to where I could begin walking. I went from that to walking with weights. The end result- I am now a US size 12, toned, fit, and all of the previous illnesses, aches, pains, are gone. After keeping the weight off for over a year, I now find I can eat basically anything I wish- but I now have no issue eating healthy, in general...
I'm not posting this as a knock against the obese- just putting it out there in case others might be in the same boat & looking for possibilities...I wish you well, Kat, & nothing excuses deliberate meanness towards another- as you have written about.
T
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Comment by JS on September 27, 2009 at 7:35am -
Absolutely and completely agreed.
I'm an overweight person myself and I really, honestly, eat very little. No, seriously. I eat one small meal a day and I'm still overweight. People think I like to eat very much and very greasy and unhealthy stuff, but in reality, I don't. I eat very little and usually quite healthy.
People are arrogant (do you mind if I swear? I'm honestly sorry if you do) a**holes that judge people by their looks.
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Comment by MacBaby16 on September 27, 2009 at 7:10am -
I love your response to that post! I've read it before and have just had nothing to even say because you are right...there are some very narrow-minded people around here. You have such a big heart. Thanks for being so caring!
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