Don't you just wish you could wake up in the morning, dictate how your day will flow, how people will treat you, what the weather will do, and what you will dream when you lay your head in the evening? How simple things would be then. I've come to learn, very quickly (over the last few months especially), there's very few things that I decide from start to finish in life. Yes, I make choices. But, if you think about it, those choices are merely based on whatever predictaments have been thrown at me.... not what I had intended.

I so badly want to live life on MY terms. Decide my own fate from start to finish without anything butting into that. You know... wake up and decide, today will be sunny, with a high of 82, John will fall in love with me and my teacher will only lecture about chocolate and fairies. . . or whatever. You understand.

Life is about compromising and selflessness. What a concept.

I don't really know why this is laying so heavy on my mind except, in retrospect, looking back, 2008 was a bitch. I mean, a devil horned back stabbing bitch. But, I made it thru. I just think about when the year started and all the things that I intended and expected to happen. The year definately took it's own course... to say the least.

But, I walk away with a lot of lessons learned. One of the most important ones seems to be... don't expect too much and don't be dissappointed when something or someone doesn't act the way they *should*. Roll with the punches, except the flow.. whether it be a calm strolling river or a ravage psunami. Be prepared, but don't overplan... or over speculate.

A wonderful woman once said, "In the end, everything will be ok. If it's not, then it's not the end."

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Comment by SassySweetBren on January 29, 2009 at 9:32pm: But, I walk away with a lot of lessons learned. ***

This is great. You learned and that is what we have to do in life.

People always ask what my New Year Resolution will be. I tell them that I never make them. Life dictates what we will do. As you said, so many times, we aren't the ones in control of our own lives.

Keep on going with the flow. Everything has a way of working out for the good in the end. At least, it has in my life.

Comment by GrannyDiane on January 5, 2009 at 7:03am: I also learned that we can never plan our lives. I had my life all planned out. I was going to work until retirement, was one plan. Well, when I was about 43 years old, life kicked my plans out from under my feet. I became disabled, and unable to work at my job.

Tony learned that about life and plans when he was about 36 years old. He had to have brain surgery or die. It left him with a left-sided paralysis and his whole life changed. Not what he had planned for.
Tony used to work with the huge main-frame computers in different companies, writing programs for them and such. After his surgery, he was not able to do that type of work anymore.

We have to learn to "go with the flow", or just be flexible enough to make adjustments to our lives when things go wrong. As they do, unfortunately, no matter how carefully we plan. How big or small the plans.

Comment by GrannyDiane on January 5, 2009 at 6:55am: You wrote, "... don't expect too much and don't be dissappointed when something or someone doesn't act the way they *should*. "

That is exactly what I have been trying to explain to people for years. I learned the hard way. So when I married Tony, I went into the marriage (at age 38) with no expectations. That way, he never felt he HAD to do certain things certain ways. That way, he enjoyed surprising me in little ways because he knew it wasn't expected. I have heard so many young girls complaining that their new husbands don't do certin things anymore. But when I try to explain my theory, they look at me as if I had 2 heads!

Comment by Ninesvnsicks on January 5, 2009 at 12:03am: Very intuitive post I feel the same way about life myself.

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