I have often wondered, what qualities make up the perfect special someone. It is very hard to tell for yourself, and I still and probably never will have all the answers. What I do have is my experiences that I learn from, and continue to learn from. In the past I had become very interested in girls that had what seemed like a lot in common with me, or had been very interested in me. Sure it is good to have things in common, but if you agree on everything, you will not know how to handle a situation where you disagree. As far as going for someone just because they are very interested in you, well the feeling has to be mutual. I think that sometimes you settle for people who are very interested in you, if there is no one else at the time, and them being interested makes you feel good about yourself. Sometimes people meet and they feel that they have a lot in common, but as they start dating they find out they are very different, sometimes causing the relationship to fail.


One thing I know for sure, is that you have to be comfortable with that person. You have to be comfortable talking to them about almost anything, even the bad. If they do something that displeases you, you must let them know. Good communication is crucial to practice even if you are mad or upset with your significant other. Besides discussing the bad, you must also let that person know when they make you happy. You cannot always focus on the bad, in fact, I think that it is best to focus mostly on the good. I am not the perfect example of this, but I try to let my girlfriend know when she makes me happy, or when she makes me feel better about myself.


As I stated earlier it is sometimes hard to tell for yourself what qualities you should look for in that special someone. I think that this is partly because it is sometimes hard to be honest with yourself. Though it may at first seem nice, you do not particularly want someone who doesn't care what you do, and lets you do whatever you want. The fact is you do want them to care, you want them to care more about what you do than anything. They need to be there to help you make the right decisions, and "keep you in check" so to speak. On the other hand, you do need a healthy amount of freedom. You still have to be able to do things that you want to do, and you do not need someone to be breathing down your neck. In my case, my girlfriend thinks I should go out with my friends more often. I spend time with her because I want to, not because I feel obligated to or that she tells me to. Sure I get out and do things, but I make plenty of room for her as well.


Another aspect that I feel is important goes along with being comfortable with that person. That special someone needs to be someone who you can trust. Of course trust has to be built, but you should not have to worry about what the other person is doing. If you do not trust the person when they are not with you then your relationship will not go smoothly. If you do have a concern that they are doing something that you wouldn't be happy with, simply ask them. Do not go snooping around to try and "catch them" doing something. If your significant other truly cares about you, then they would not do anything that would compromise your relationship. I trust my girlfriend with everything because I know that she wouldn't do anything that I wouldn't approve of.


Caring for one another is a two way street. It is very important that the other person cares as much as you do, or vice versa. If you know that you care more than they do then something isn't right. That special someone should care for you just as much as you care for them. You both should be putting the same amount of effort into the relationship, and yes relationships do take effort because they aren't always easy. If the if you are putting in a lot more effort than your partner, than perhaps they do not care as much as you do. You have to care enough about the relationship to be willing to put it the effort to keep it going. My past relationships ended, perhaps partly because I did not care enough to keep them going any longer. In my current relationship, we both put in equal effort. We both care more about the other person than we care for ourselves, and put in the equal amount of effort. I can see that she truly cares, and that is one thing that I love about her. If she didn't care then I wouldn't have cared as much in the first place either.


I'm sure there are additional qualities, but these I believe are among the most important. Feel free to comment with what you feel is important as well. There are no real instructions or perfect answers when it comes to relationships, for they are complex and unique to every couple. What we do have is morals and guidelines to live by to have a successful relationship. I am no relationship expert, if there is such a thing, but I can share what I learned from my own experiences. We will all face problems in our relationships and everyone has that perfect special someone even if they have not found them. Learn from your experiences and know that there is always room for self improvement.